A downloadable game for Windows and Linux

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Welcome to the school cafeteria from hell.

Parsnip Theory is a game about food. Lots of food. The one thing you aren't doing is eating it.

You get to do lots of cool things!

  • Take control of a bunch of people trying to take over a cafeteria!
  • Defend your people from the other bunches of people trying to do the same!
  • Wear everyone down by bombarding them with vegetables!
  • Get completely covered in vegetables yourself!

So how do you get into this?

Step 1 (optional): Watch video.

Step 2: Download. If you're scared of downloading things, try the web demo. (a bit outdated, the AI in the downloadable version is better) And then download this game. Because it's awesome.

Of course, if you're like me and you like building things from source, there's some source code in the zip, and there's also a repository on GitHub here:


Step 3: Unzip it, read the README.txt file, grab a friend or 3, and run it. Because awesomeness needs to be shared.

Step 4: Make videos and/or tell people about it. I don't do DMCA takedowns for people doing LPs and reviews and whatnot, so go ahead!


Alpha 12:

  • Actually included the Lua AI. Really sorry about this, guys!
  • Open source release. The Linux builds are from Alpha 11, but functionally identical to the Alpha 12 builds. And you get the Lua AI in this zip, too!

Alpha 11:

  • Added support for Lua-based AIs (if the Lua AI gets an error, it reverts to the C AI)
  • Ported the C AI behaviour to Lua... and added crouching to it!
  • Changed the table tile to something that looks less like a vent

Alpha 10b:

  • Fixed a crash bug when you action-click an empty tile with no player selected.

Alpha 10a:

  • Fixed said obnoxious crash bug
  • Added fullscreen support!
  • Updated sackit (music playroutine) to the latest version - music now mixed at 48000Hz

Alpha 10:

Note, the Windows build is actually Alpha 9. I needed to fix a crash bug in the Windows version, and at the time I just wanted to push this update so Raspi users can play w/o crashes.

  • Added a simple graphics setup screen
  • Added optimised 1x-through-5x scalers
  • Raspberry Pi build actually works again!
  • Raspi: Added a faster mixer to the music playroutine
  • Music playback may be a little bit less likely to crash now

Alpha 9:

  • Network version bump - not mentioned in the changelog, but IS in the readme this time! Either way, you SHOULD be using the latest version at all times! (Except when I say something's broken.)
  • GAMEPLAY CHANGE: Added in crouch/stand mechanic. Now you can hide behind tables!
  • Added in a title screen - please let me know if I need to punch Windows in the face repeatedly to make it not crash!
  • Added in some artwork which should eventually be polished up and used in a title sequence.
  • Fixed a bug where more than one unit could move at once
  • Fixed a bug where the AI could end turn before fully finishing, breaking other players (enforced a 1/4 second delay after last move before turn end available)
  • Fixed a rendering bug which made the level editor unusable, which probably fixed some other things too

NOTE: Builds earlier than Alpha 12 do not include source. If you want the source code for those versions, check out the repository on GitHub, and then do a checkout of an older commit:


StatusOn hold
PlatformsWindows, Linux
Rated 4.0 out of 5 stars
(1 total ratings)
Tagsfood-fight, tbs, Turn-based


Download NowName your own price

Click download now to get access to the following files:

parsniptheory_alpha12.zip 2 MB
parsniptheory_alpha11.zip 2 MB
parsniptheory_alpha10b.zip 2 MB
parsniptheory_alpha10a.zip 2 MB
parsniptheory_alpha10.zip 2 MB
parsniptheory_alpha9.zip 1 MB
parsniptheory_alpha8.zip 1 MB
parsniptheory_alpha7.zip 1 MB